roacoe

I thought I'd share my experience with loss in words something people can read and hopefully understand. I've been writing daily since covid so I hope this isn't to terrible. Please forgive me for starting this out with a potroast mom quote but in one of her Instagram post she said something like potroast was the one soul she was not constantly guarding herself around, her safest place. That was me and my bear. He was my sun, my light, my safe place. He was my protector from all the bad things my one reason to stay. I don't feel connected to the earth without him. I keep reacting my reasons to keep going over and over.

1. Graduating 

2. My writting/future career 

3. The hope to get a service dog

4.  My YouTube carer 

5. Most importantly make roscoe proud

I have these things on reapet constantly. It's a little game I play. I know I have to keep going I know I need to keep pushing. It's hard being without him some days (like today) nearly impossible. But I know what I need to do. I feel lost reapeting my reasons is the one thing keeping me grounded. I dont know of this makes sense bug if it does and if you can realte I'm sorry. Just know there is a reason to stay and you have to hold onto that. I love you bear forever and always.