Alexis knew who she wanted to be from a very young age

 

ART NOT MINE

Context lol

like many 8th graders I was a bored and miserable teenager. I had a strict over protective dad, I could drive, I didn't have a love life (tbh no 14 year old should) but I knew one thing. I was gonna be a writter. 

I came up with three TV shows and a book I the 8th grade and still consider all of them current projects. I'm trying to focus on my books at the moment but I'm still very attracted to my TV show characters. 

the first photo is me dressed up as my character Jennifer and the second is a drawing that my friend did of my character iggy. 

Over the years I tired other things but in my heart I've always been writter. I truly belive it's what I'm meant to do. It's a hard story tell of why I choose to be a writter and it makes me emotional. Mainly because growing up (and still currently) I felt like I wasn't supported in my dreams. 

I'm extremely grateful that I know what I wanna do. I don't know how but I know it will happen. some people spend there whole lives trying to figure out what to be and I've known since the 4th grade. 

it wasn't till recently I deiced to really get serious about writing. I was so busy chasing something else I couldn't see what is meant for me. 

I love writing, I love creating, I love my gods who helped and supported me. 

I knew what I was gonna be from a very young age, a writter. 

Almsot got kidnapped!

 I was walking to taco bell to provide for my family when a man started to Harass me. He was blocking off an escape route and yelled multiple times "do you want to get in?" 

After I ignored him he started to follow me then drove off. Needless to say I was fucking terrified. 

I'm a small tint girl I would not have been able to fight off this man. I can not overstate how much of this is a problem. 

I Feel like everytime I walk I get catcalled or harassed. Instead of calling woman dramatic wr need to beat the fuck out of men who tramtuize woman. 

Please stay safe please don't walk at night unless you have weapons. And if you are a man do your job and protect woman.

Im going insane! hope that helps!

I've been going insane lately. Like crash out crazy girl feral insane. I feel like I'm buzzing an also on fire. Like a bee on fire who also cant stop thinking about everyone who's ever wronged her (and everyone she's wronged). So I started writing letters to them. This made me realize that one, i am the funniest person alive. Two, this is better then therapy. I suggest everyone do this. 

Dear, 

         Blank 

 Hi, hey, hello! I don't expect you will ever read this. Maybe in some other universe where everything magically worked out between us. We spend a magical summer together then move to California to work on our childhood tv shows. You the artist, me the director , god we’d be a power duo.

Life has been weird lately. I just got a fucking mean comment on TikTok and I'm literally gonna find where this fuck lives and beat empathy into him. I feel like a lot of men need empathy. What are your opinions on this? 

I think about you constantly. Lately I’ve been thinking of our life together. I was driving around with my mom and sister and we passed on the (insert high school name) . And I thought “God we’d be seniors we are going home together. We’d be getting polar pops and doing homework then driving back to school for football practice.” And it made me feel awful. 

And then I thought “we’d be getting ready for college.” And there's no way I’d be smart enough to get into ASU and I'd be so sad to separate from you. But we’d still be together, we'd still be us. And then I got sad. But not like a depressed god I want to be buried 6 ft below sad. More like a nostalgic sad. Like a “what could have been” sad. It was kind of awful but also great. Kind of like what it must have been like to date me. 

I'm not gonna bore you with every sad bad thing that's happened to me since you did the mental equivalent of dumping me on the side of the road. Just know a lot has happened and I will drop random lore like a dad telling you he used to illegally bred snakes and sell them on craigslist. 

GOD DAMN IT I GOT ANOTHER FIUCK ASS COMMENT. I'm getting a bat and a jar full of basic morals and I'm shoving it down their throats. 

P.S.

To those fuck ass men on TikTok. I'm sending the demon from hereditary after you.

4 years of hermes

 Hi, hey, Hello! Nobody will probably see this for a million years but I'm high off caffeine and teenage angst and I'm ready to write! I've been working with hermes for four years sometime this March! I just filmed a video about this so will be repeating myself a lot in this. But I'm just grateful and I need to write. 

Hermes is my life. He is my god. He is the purest form of love I have. I have so much love a light in my heart for him. And I will never stop loving him. I am so proud to be his devotee. 

Sometime in March 2021 right before Easter I started working with hermes. I remember the day so clearly. I had just found our He was the god fucking with me and I was shocked. Also I was an 8th grader so I was an emitontal wreck and so was everyone around me.

Me and my bestfriend were having girlie issues and we were walking to English. The way to English was outside because it was in the portables and my best friend said "I look up to you so much." And I nearly passed away from shock. 

Then we went home demand snacks from her parents (I got chocolate covered marshmallow eggs and voltage mountain dew) and set up her paint talk to talk about our feelings. 

Talk went great! So now we were left with cold hard truth that hermes was fucking with me. And that's the day I decided he will be mine. 

More like I became his. For a long time religion felt like a very scary thing. I never felt safe with God and was terrified of hell. I always felt judged by religious people for not belive and judged by atheist for wanting to belive. But hermes just made sense. 

Hermes had seen me through all my awful teen years. My first break up, my frist time in the pyschward, all my evil male crushes. And he has loved me through it. 

Hermes is like a breath of fresh air. Lik a cinnamon candle. A warm bath. An old book. The smell of dirt and rain. I see him everywhere. In my pet turtles eyes. In sunsets and sunrises. In the taste of cuties and sour candy. I feel him everywhere. 

I'll be celebrating this hermes anniversary by making cookies, crying over him, and writing poetry about how beatfuil he is. Forever and always a hermes girl! 

Feb recap

 I'm aware this is nine days late but also literally nobody is gonna read it and I am ultimately just a girl. 

The February recap 

I started off the month finishing fourth wing then spent the rest of the month fantasying about Liam. I love you king. 

I spent a lot of time at the library. I went to two events and just hung out there a lot. The last pic is a haul I got from the library bookstore. 

I got erbessed with making collages on Pinterest. I made one for all my characters and deities. 

This was my tbr i got halfway through iron flame, finished carry on march 1st, and dnf sisterhood. 

These are just other random photos that sum up my month. 

Journal entries- most of these will have zero context

  The 14th marked 6 months without roscoe which is crazy. Like I had him for eleven years and now I'm gonna have elven plus without him. It makes me very sad and it makes me want to cry.

Oh and I also have been listening to Carry on all day and it's so good. I’m so close to getting to the first kiss! I can not overstate the excitement in my veins. Rowell is an incredible writer. I think that's literally everything I truly have no other thoughts.

Main character carry on ranking

1. Baz (MY HUSBAND)

2. Simon and Penelope are tied at number two!

3. Fiona because she’s so funny and I love her and Baz’s relationship

4. Agatha she pisses me off but I do relate to her

5. Lucy literally know nothing about her but I like her

This month I also started officially writing all my books! Overall a 6/10 month. Thats all for now love you bye!

Coloring club!!

 Hi, Hey, Hello! I just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience during the color club at the mesa public libary! (Spoiler alert it's all good things.)

I went with my sister and there two friends! We went to Walmart before and I looked at the book section where they did in fact have onxy Strom and I did in fact freak out! Then we headed over to the libary!

Basically when we got there there were a good amount of tables and a shit ton of craft supplies! We sat down and got comfortable. I'll insert all the photos with explanations and then I'll get into how I felt. 

Frist I made a card for my sister. I don't have much to say about this other then it was fun to do. But when I stated this card I noticed my favorite Liberian and I made her a card to! She was so thankful and it made me so happy!

I also made cards for my deties! I think I'm gonna make actual home made cards so this was a little prep for that!

The first two photos are all my cards including a little mini one I made. Then the third one is me looking gorgeous at the event and lastly, bojack. My sister drew bojack (very well I may add) and the old woman loved it! 

Overall this was such a fun experience I had a great time!! The people I were with were great and the people at the libary were so welcoming!